Monday, April 13, 2009

I'm gonna take you in my arms and fly away

You're looking for somewhere to belong
You're standing all alone
for someone to guide you on your way
Now and Forever

i am content. for the first time in over a century, i say those words with complete honesty. i am done fighting myself and my place in this world. at least for now. i have all that i could want: a wonderful man who loves me endlessly, an unbelievably amazing family who i would do anything for, a beautiful house and a fast car, not to mention the collection of shoes. aro is especially pleased with my change in attitude. i know he was beginning to think i would never again be at peace in volterra. he has indulged me so much while i tried to find myself. not to mention what i've put santiago through. aro has officially given us his blessing, although we must now prove that we can still perform our guard duties properly. and so at this point in time, we are not allowed to be on guard duty at the same time. this is wise on aro's part. he knows that eventually our relationship will make us perfectly in sync and an even deadlier team, but until the passion has cooled, we are more of a liability together. we understand this, and so we seem to constantly be missing each other the past few days, but we take what few moments we can catch. i love santiago so much, i swear i can almost hear my heart beat again when i am with him. he has captured my heart for all of eternity.
the other half of my serenity comes from a rather more surprising place. felix and i have finally come to terms and are trying to put our past rivalry behind us. why this change has come about all of a sudden, i'm not sure. i think i just finally saw myself for the brat i was when corin was yelling at me and decided i was done with it. i don't want to be the self-centered, spoiled child anymore. don't get me wrong, i'm still going to annoy him from time to time, and i expect him to do the same. but i'll just give it in moderation. who knows? maybe one day he and i will have a serious conversation. felix is my brother, and we have fought side by side in many battles. he has saved my life before, and i have saved his. why we ever started on this mutual hatred i can't remember, but i'm done with it. he's even made an effort to stop calling me "reni" although now that it's gone i admit i miss it. in the unfortunate event that we are again called into battle together, i believe we will now be even more formidable together. that's a scary thought as we're already the deadliest members of the guard. perhaps word of our new treaty will spread and our enemies will know to fear us even more. ha, felix will enjoy that thought. i'm enjoying being able to call him "brother" and meaning it as more than just a word. now if he can stay alive long enough for me to fully enjoy it, what with him romancing maggie and siobhan about to kill him... but that's their story so i'll let them tell the world. as for me, i'm back to my blissful life.

Listening to: Ace of Base - Beautiful Life